That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
