If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You ate ashes out of my bong
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
