I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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