How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize