forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
