Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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