i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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