Michael Bay diarrhea
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
