he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
