she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
