She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
