sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Enjoy the penises
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
