I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
