Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize