He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
