Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was born a porn star she said
Just cropdusted the office
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize