i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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