I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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