I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
