I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
