I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize