Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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