just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
