And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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