When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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