i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
