That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize