Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
