He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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