So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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