I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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