Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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