The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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