Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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