is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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