walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
