If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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