She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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