OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
