You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
