weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
