They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
