he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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