I'll bet she douches with gravy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
