I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
