I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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