so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
