that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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