please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
