You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
