yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
