THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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