i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
