Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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