Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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