She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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