im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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