I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize