I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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