my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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