literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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