phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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