Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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