Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
