Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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