I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
