I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
