Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize