idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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