i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
