We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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