i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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