im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
