My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
