That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
why is half of my head shaved?
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