dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
