I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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