ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
