Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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