so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
